Written by Scotsman
The members of the No Pants Provided forums worked together on Saturday, June 27 to bring this article to you. Members would take their camera with them wherever they went, then snap pictures of their day, to share with everyone.
Scotsmans day is in this post, and you can read about everyone elses photoblog day by either visiting the forums, or reading the comments of this article. With that, let’s find out the question everyone is aching to know…
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
When I came up with the idea of photoblogging this day, I didn’t realize at the time that I was going to the cottage on Saturday. With no internet access for a week outside my blackberry, I stayed up late Friday doing a lot of work, into the wee hours of Saturday morning. I ended up still wake at Boners favourite time of the day:
4:20. SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY.
I finally went upstairs about 5am, everyone asleep still. Here is Mason fast asleep:
Brando is jerking it right now. I just fucking know it.
I don’t remember doing this – but apparently I took a camwhores style picture of myself at 5am:
Ah the weird things lack of sleep does to you.
I didn’t wake up until 11am. I had told my wife about the photoblog day, so she apparently took this picture while I was still asleep:
That’s right guys. I’m fat. I’m wearing a Hulkamania t-shirt. I’m cuddling up with a John Cena Wrestling Buddy AND a Macaulay Culkin doll. And I still get laid.
God. I’m so awesome.
I finally get out of bed around 11am. Everyone has a reason to get out of bed everyday – mine is quite simple: for that early morning cigarette and cup of tea:
If there was a thought bubble over Ellas head, I’m sure it would be saying how proud she was of me.
Today is a very special day as I am broadcasting my life onto NPP, so I have to pick out the right outfit to wear. I have to show people my fashion sense – so that I have at least one thing going for me.
Do I go with one of my awesome wrestling t-shirts?
Or how about a witty shirt with a funny catchphrase on it?
I finally decide to go with the classics…
I spend the next hour or so relaxing, while the wife packs up the car with the millions of bags that only women can take on a trip. We have a kickass castle for the kids in the back yard:
And apparently it’s not just the kids that enjoy it:
Finally the wife is packed up and ready, and we are ON THE ROAD. We stop to shut the kids up with some McDonalds:
While I go for a Whopper at Burger King:
Yummy!
Before we get going to the cottage however we have a couple of stops. First up is the library so I can pick up some books:
I also spot this awesome sign:
Whoever wrote that is clearly a big fucking faggot.
We then have to go stock up on groceries for the week…
$204 worth of groceries. Welcome to marriage.
Stocked up, we are ready to go. The drive is through country so there really isn’t much to see except lots of green…
Oh yeah…and THIS MOTHERFUCKING BEAST:
I was stuck behind that for about 20 fucking minutes.
We arrive at the cottage:
And of course the first thing Abba does:
Is shit all over the fucking place.
Once we are bring everything in from the car we head over to the main area where there is a big play park for the kids to play at:
As well as a pretty pitiful attempt at mini-golf:
The highlight of my day though happened at the park, and it was one of those moments I woulda snapped a picture of regardless of whether or not there was a photoblog going on, as Mason, social butterfly that he is, made a new friend and they went to play together on the see-saw.
Only problem was the kid was really fat:
Hilarious. Mason struggled for about 10 minutes before just giving up.
Janise and the kids then went on a wagon ride:
We had some dinner, and then it was time to do that real man thing – build a campfire:
I was pretty exhausted by this point so it was a pretty sloppy campfire at least by my standards. But hey I love campfires, and I enjoyed this one even more knowing that Osiris would be writhing in jealousy, the not real man that he is.
Of course with any campfire you gotta have some delicious fucking smores:
I like mine well done.
It was a fun but tiring day, and after being up late the night before I called it quits about 11pm, came in, cuddled up on the couch and watched me some good TV.
And that my dear NPP, was my day.
How was yours?
first
zoom in more on your wife next time
TAFFS PHOTOBLOG
I stupidly told Rach about the photoblog the day before, then brought the camera down and put it next to the bed. I was woken up nice and early the next morning by this.
Fucking flash.
When I got up I decided to make a massive jaffa cake based on a recipie I saw on TV last week. Heres the link. The guy there made about 12 or so cakes, but I decided to make one MASSIVE one, Pimp That Snack style
With the cake cooking, it was time for a quick go on FM. Managed to play 3 games, and post an update. Woo hoo.
The cake didnt have any self raising flour in, so it rose, then when taken out of the oven went back down. This was quite good actually, as it meant there was a ridge round the cake to hold the jelly and chocolate in later.
Cake finally done. Was a pain in the arse, because the jelly started to melt into the cake, so I had to set it again. Then when you put the chocolate on the jelly it starts to melt again. Finally managed to get it right, and it didnt look too bad.
Gotta keep up with NPP!
Mmmm, we ate our lunch (grilled cheese toastie) and then had a bit of my cake. Delish-ious.
I nipped out to the shop to get a few extra things for our picnic later today, and was hoping to see something more interesting to take a pic of, but there was nothing.
Quick shave before we went. I fucking hate shaving and would grow a beard if it wouldnt make me look like my dad.
We set off to go to the Peak District, with all the picnic packed up. Its about an hours drive there, so we stuck on Mind Chaos by Hockey and had a sing song
Dont you just love driving down these little roads? Theres always either a cunt on a bike or a cunt in a landrover who get in your way. I especially love when you have to reverse for 5 minutes just so someone can get past you.
We spotted the big pool of water in the distance so headed for that and found a car park
Cunts. We discovered we couldnt walk next to the reservoir as it was a drinking water reservoir and there was a risk of contamination. Yet there was fishing allowed there with a permit. Doesnt make a great deal of sense to me
There was a path that went round it, so we followed that.
Rach really struggled to get down the banking, silly us had decided to avoid the normal path that took an extra long route and instead cut across the grass. Every step she took was greeted with shrieks because she "saw a bee" or shouting at me that she heard a rattlesnake (it was crickets).
I just sat at the bottom laughing at her like a good boyfriend.
At the bottom we took a pic, because at this point we both didnt really fancy walking up the other side. I dropped my pants for no particular reason
We walked up the other side of the reservoir, I could see a path that led round the reservoir, so we figured we'd do a lap of that.
Bollocks. We got to the top, there was no alternative path just a wall, and we couldnt walk round the reservoir
We were hot and sweaty, the sun had been blasting down on us and there were a LOT of steps, so we decided to walk back to the car.
Fucking knackered. We sat on the boot of the car for a while having a drink
We chilled out at a different spot after a short drive and got the BBQ going.
Rach forgot to bring anything to use when cooking the meat, so I was forced to improvise with a couple of matches we'd used for lighting. Since the BBQ we were using was one of those shitty disposable things you get for a pound at most shops it was only heating on one side, hence all the meat grouped up together.
You cant see it great from this angle either but behind me was a cliff with a 20 foot drop. Everytime I got up to check the BBQ I was worried I might take a tumble and this photoblog might turn tragic
Food was finally cooked, nothing was burnt, and it was bloody gorgeous. We sat back and lay on the grass after eating.
This was our view as we ate, we were able to see nothing but hills for miles. Living in a city for so long makes you appreciate this a bit more I think.
Desert was a nice bit of my Jaffa Cake, with cream. mmmmm
As we went back to the car I noticed a couple of sheep milling around. Rach had repeatedly turned down a quick roll in the grass, and I was keen to get my end away one way or another. Unfortunately these blighters were fast, I was hoping for a pic of me right behind one
Just for the picture we stopped outside Old Trafford on the way home. It had also started to rain, which was awesome as we'd managed to have clear skies all the time we were out.
Upon getting home it was time for a quick shower. Fuck I needed it, my balls were sweaty as fuck.
I finished the day off tired, with a bit of Left 4 Dead, before going to bed.
Good job Scots and Taff. Fat kid on see-saw I think is the best photo, just one of those magic moments you can't make up.
I just realised I have a phone with a camera now - I should've done this. Next time maybe.
I don't know why but I laughed for several minutes at you trying to use matchsticks as bbq tongs, it killed me.
Great day.
That truly is a massive jaffa cake. I enjoyed three outfits in one day u are such a little queen. No pants pic was money we all gotta fit that in for future versions.
Id normally chill out in mornings in just a pair of shorts but wasnt sure NPP was ready for that sight, had to throw on last nights clothes instead. Had a change for going out then a change after the shower. Had to make the effort for NPP!
I'll do this for THE BIG SWITCH ON in Skegness.
what's that
Awesome. We should do this once or month or so. Next time I'll remember.
Posting to say I have pics from 9am to midnight. I'll post them when I am home tonight.
This was a good idea. I'll definitely do it next time so long as I am able.
One year we Shane Ritchie switch the lights on.
Getting ready to set this up, but photobucket is ridiculously fucking slow. Anybody have any ideas that won't waste three hours of my life trying to post and rotate 25 or so photos?
NPP Server.
For rotate download and use irfanview if that's what u mean then upload em to npp photo album so thay are preserved 4evah
K they're going on NPP Server. As for IrfanView, I think I mentioned I had that before and found it lacking. Chances are they've beefed it up since then. I used GIMP to rotate them. Still took forever because there's about 50 pics. I'm only posting maybe half of them.
I got scared when Taff was driving from the other side.
Bizarre right?
My brain just blocked out the steering wheel all together, and I had to go back to see what you guys were talking about.
Good show, Scots and Taff. I'll try to participate next time.
Perhaps the only thing better than a post about a date with WT would be a post about the entire day.
Did Scots really take the family to one fast food place and then himself to another? Why not just all eat at BK?
And The Gerry checks in with his exciting day. I should note off the top that only the first pic was taken with a real camera (and while I was still half asleep), so expect bad photo quality all around. Gerry's day revolved around a wedding.
8:54am
This is what I wake up to every single morning. Three little rats begging for food or attention. It used to be four
9:55am
At my father's house. When you pay $400 bucks for your car, you have to constantly check oil and shit like that to make sure it isn't gonna blow up while you're speeding down the highway.
10:55am
I have to pick up a card to put the Wal Mart gift card I got the happy couple in. The dollar store! Class all around for Gerry Todd and his family. It should be noted that apparently you can't joke about a wedding, as the only card I found that was listed ad 'humorous' had a picture of two cats, and some cheeseball bullshit about enjoying a happy life together. Where are the ones with the "She slept with your best friend last night, dumb-ass!" notes in them?
12:06pm
The wedding isn't until three, but it's early enough to ruin any chance of getting real work done. So I am forced to do women's work, since mine doesn't actually live here. The lid is open during the spin cycle because I have to shift around the clothes to the proper spot before it starts, or it will spin at about 5rpm and my clothes come out soaked.
1:09pm
Naked Gerry!!!!
2:07pm
Girlfriend is here so we're hitting the road. Thought I'd take a picture of the palatial Gerry Todd estate (lol GET A REAL HOUSE!!!).
2:55pm
We arrive at the wedding (at a house in St Catherines) and after everyone annoying the hell out of my girlfriend (since this is their first time meeting her after over one year of dating) I take a quick shot of the home-made barbecue spit. This thing is huuuuuuuuuuuge and built onto it's own trailer to be dragged from party to party. Yes, my sister throws that damn many parties a year that they had to build themselves a barbecue trailer. 8 billion family fucking functions a year....... Then I get nagged if I didn't RSVP on Facebook, since, you know, calling people is out of the question.....
3:23pm
Obligatory picture of the ceremony. Not sure if you can see it, but it is being performed by what looks like a priest in full-on Roman Catholic Father Ted gear. They were originally going to get married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator, but because of family illnesses they decided to get married back home. I was under the impression that they were still getting married by Elvis though. Imagine my disappointment when Churchy McJesus was standing there with a bible as we all arrived. I should also note that this guy read from scriptures way too many times, with the bride's side of the crowd saying them along with him and tossing in the AMENs and shit. Our side was dead silent (and possibly sleeping) this whole time.
3:38pm
Baby Elvis is upset. He was dragged from the ceremony earlier as he started fussing, and this is when he broke away and ran back towards his now married parents. I'd make a bastard joke here, but chances are I'd get my ass kicked for doing it.
3:40pm
Captain Christian has finally shut up, so we are now allowed to mill about. I had to snap a picture of the Elvis husband on the cake, but unfortunately with the contrast you can't see him too well.
3:41pm
I managed to get my nephew to capture his nephew for a quick snapshot. Elvis is a miserable little bastard, isn't he? Oh shi---
4:01pm
Generic shot of mostly the bride's side of the crowd to fulfill the photoblog commitments. Someone was probably makin ga speech up there too, but the glare of the sun off of the house was as blinding in person as it is whitewashing in this pic.
5:04pm
Obligatory shot of The Gerry, taken by Mrs Gerry. Two hours in. Several drinks, but not drunk enough.
6:05pm
The Elvis impersonator is there, but just to sing. He's about 5ft tall and Asian. I guess he has the sound and moves though. Sort of........
6:28pm
Elvis is doing his thing. Not once did I see him pop any pills of partake in a bologna and nanner sammich. Really, what a poor excuse for an Elvis.
6:59pm
Elvis is still going, and now he's using his cliff notes to tell fake stories about the Bride and Groom. It was somewhere in here that the groom was pushed into the pool wearing his full outfit.
7:30pm
Bride and Groom's first dance. The groom is drenched soaking wet after going into the pool at least twice. The head bridesmaid later threw a bitchfit about this at my brother and half brother, as they were the ones that pitched him in. My mother spent the rest of the night trying to pay people to toss that bitchy cunt in. Sadly she never took the bath
8:09pm
Mrs Gerry has to get up for work at 4am, so she leaves at 8 for the hour long drive home. This is a shot of the cars parked around the neighborhood as I walked back. I should have taken a picture of the white streak on her bumper, as I apparently backed her car into a guardrail earlier when turning around to drive away from a closed highway.
9:02pm
This is a picture of the plastic wagon that was broken when my brother and nephew were fighting to see who got tossed in the pool next. My mother stopped the fight by hitting my nephew with a steel chair across the back. Seriously, not joking there. The old bag doesn't even watch wrestling, although she is white trash.
9:59pm
General shot of the tent we were under at night. Elvis is gone, but the loud shitty dance music still lives on.
11:01pm
Supposed to be a shot of the torches around the pool, as the party is almost dead now. No arrests, (although the neighbors down the street did call once because people were smoking weed on her lawn) and nobody went to the hospital. Kind of disappointing for a family gathering for us, but a good time was still had by all.
11:50pm
The hacked satellites still aren't back yet, so I am forced to watch whatever you can find on antenna at 11:50 on a Saturday night, in this case RTV. MacMillan and Wife with legendary AIDS patient Rock Hudson. I didn't get drunk enough to stomach this.
FIN
WTF???? Why can't I see my pics???
cause you didnt put them in?
lol
Oh dang.
I've doubled up the https apparently, but when I went to repost it only showed the first two pics. Someone who knows what they're doing is going to have to edit it.
Gerry you are stupid
For reasons I can not explain I did this yesterday. I missed from the time I got up at around 8 until 11 since both my phone and camera were recharging. These are all shitty camera phone pics btw.
My wife works most Saturdays and this one was no different. All that's really missing here is getting my kid up and having breakfast.
10:54am
After getting dressed the kid sneaks back into his parents room and turns on the tv. I believe Happy Monster Band was providing his viewing pleasure.
10:57am
After prying him away from the tv we get downstairs and find a very bored looking dog. Walk time.
11:32am
We walked to the park so the kid can burn some energy off of which he has tons. He's about to go down the slide here. I have no idea what he's looking at.
11:50am
As we're walking home this rather large red ball comes out of nowhere and proceeds the entire way down the street. Strangely, no kids are playing anywhere in sight. Odd. Of course this is also the picture where I decide to get a close up of my index finger as well. Quality photography.
11:58am
The dog is now very hot but less bored.
12:22pm
LUNCH TIME CANADA STYLE~!
1:00pm
Lunch clean up...
1:01pm
...also known as dessert time for the dog.
1:19pm
The kid is napping so it's NPP time...
2:12pm
...followed by Xbox time. Marvel Ultimate Alliance specifically.
3:13pm
Oh yeah, I was supposed to be doing laundry. Fuck.
3:54pm
The kid awakens. Laundry gets put on the backburner. Thankfully.
4:55pm
"First you're making me eat dinner at 5 o'fuckingclock and now you're taking my picture? Fuck you dad. Fuck you."
6:32pm
We're going to a party that we don't want to go to and have to stop at the wife's work so a co-worker can follow us there. Whee.
6:50pm
"Are we fucking there yet?"
8:17pm
One of the awesome things about taking a kid to a function you don't want to go to is the ability to say "Gee, we'd love to stay but the kid has to go to bed! See ya!" This is the surburban hell in Burlington where the party was taking place btw. No "party" pics since it sucked. I also appear to be taking another fantastic picture of my finger.
8:45pm
We got a good 2/3's of the way home before the wife remembered that we were supposed to be home boarding a dog for the weekend. Oops. Back to the fucking vet clinic again to pick up said dog.
10:14pm
Finally back home. The kid is asleep, the wife is passing out on the couch. For some people this is Miller time. For me, it's popper time.
11:04pm
Marvel Ultimate Alliance resumes. I managed to fall asleep while saving my game about an hour and a half after this. I woke up at 7 this morning with the save screen still up. Good fucking job, me!
Anyway, boring ass day all around. Apologies for any boredom I've inflicted.
You let your kid talk to you like that Shaft? Time for the belt to come off.
Your car appears to be comprised entirely of rust.
Disappointed in the lack of wife-girlfriend pix, that was the whole point. shaft your son is cool as fuck.
I'll pm some extra rach ones to you.
Shafts day didnt involve as much kill stealing as I might have thought.
Thanks to whomever fixed my post, even if it was Taff. Out of the participants, me and Shaft are in the running for most boring days. But I had ELVIS DAMNIT!!!!!
And Tucho, no pics of the other half. Just imagine fat people.jpg, and you pretty much have us.
Apparently the 5 minute edit rule doesn't apply anymore, so Whitebacon the car is not rusty. It's painted with flat black primer so it looks kinda like Robocop's car.
It was Tucho
I still can't figure out why my second attempt didn't work
The filenames were a bit wrong, they had the word 'album' in it instead of the word 'picture'.
Hilariously, Scots pics are all red x's.
That's weird. They were x's in the main page post but show up here. Peculiar.
Also the 's beome ?s.
Way to post whore, post whore.
Just for that, I'm not posting my pics.
He's also pointed out something that's been pointed out a couple of times before. I guess the whole thing isn't as hilarious as he had thought. What a fanny (GB&NI meaning, not USA meaning, natch).
So you're stating that he pointed out the obvious AND is post whoring?! This is unheard of boarding tactics and should be dealt with in proper timing.
I never said that.
And he clearly can't comprehend conversation between two other people. He's like a dog who doesn't realize he isn't loved.
A total bawbag, if you will.
A Day in the Life of Manbooba
Most of you know that I work at McDonald's as a part time job after working there for many years. I only work a couple days a week and one of those is the opening shift every Saturday:
So after eating a quick bowl of cereal and tidying up, I arrive at McDonald's to find out that there is a guy replacing the window to one of our drive thru windows because a drunk guy came walking through the drive thru and after being refused service for not being in a car, decided to punch the windows and shattered it all to hell. Sadly, this all happened around 1:30am so I saw nothing interesting. But I was able to clock in a few minutes early:
After getting the grill stocked up and listening to the story get told a few more times, I decide to start making some food and put some biscuits in the microwave to unthaw them before baking:
Shortly thereafter, it's time to start making the breakfast burritos for the rest of the morning:
Basically for the rest of the morning we got killed. There was this thing called the Star of the North games which are basically like the state Olympics. All around my store is a bunch of baseball fields that were hosting the games for everyone from the 9-10 year olds to the "master" division of college-age kids. I was able to take this quick picture of putting the McGriddles in the microwave to warm up before serving them:
My shift ended at 11 am, but didn't actually get off until closer to 11:30, part of that was because I got stuck taking everything back to the cooler and freezer:
Due to us being real busy, I wasn't able to even take my break you don't need to take one tubby. This ended up being a good thing as I was able to take one of the new Angus Burgers that McDonald's is selling and should be going nationally by the middle of August.
As soon as I get home, my wife goes to take a nap since she only gets a few hours of sleep as she was asleep for about 30 minutes before my alarm went off and woke up around 7. She started a movie on the DVR as she was laying down and it was fucking Princess Diaries 2. I hate that fucking movie, my kids on the other hand:
I doze off for a little catnap while the movie is on and afterwards I lay the kids down for their nap, which means it's daddy time:
:CUBSWIN:
of course there is some time for some BOARDIN~~:
So eventually the wife leaves for work and the kids get up from their naps, after having a small supper, I get the kids ready for the Granite City Days parade. I check the Weather Channel before and all the rain is going south of us so no worries. We get to the parade right as it is starting at 6:30 and no more than 10 minutes afterwards, this comes:
There were a few sprinkles here and there but nothing major...until the sky breaks and we got dumped on for about 15 minutes straight. We finally say enough is enough and retreat to the car where we go and visit my wife at work and get our food on at the cafeteria. The kids think its funny being drenched:
Getting home around 8:30 I have to get give the kids a bath now (Sorry no pics Brando) and do a load of laundry:
After bathtime I put the kids to bed which means more alone time. Sadly that doesn't involve finding porn and fapping, but more of watching Bobby Lashley beat up that bathturd Bob Sapp:
Finally, its time to go to bed around 11:30. The kids are finally asleep and I'm heading out, but not before some Ninja Warrior:
GOOD NIGHT NOW
Well now I'm depressed.
I didn't know you had a possessed child
Or a Pepsi machine in your house.
Way to read captions NAC
fuck captions I read Scots and some of yours and thats it.
jerk
This was a
all round. Thanks to everyone for participating I will give you all 1000 Pantaloonies each for that. Hopefully we get more participants next time. We'll do it again sometime in July.
The Angus burgers is my town have different buns
I will give you each 3 pantaloonies for participating.
I'm saving the badge, as it is far more important to me Pete :discodave:
wheres my 1k
Fuck stick.