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Thread: Dumb Things Super-Smarks (like TTG) Say (Blog of Doom Chat) 2: Electric Boogaloo

  1. #4201
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    Holy helllll. They've gone around the horn back to being marks.
    NPP Fantasy Football Legend

    Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry that what you just heard was "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?

    Quote Originally Posted by HeisenGuy View Post
    I hope Vince Mcmahon dies

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    Nick Demola • 8 minutes ago
    Aaron Hernandez's last phone call was from Vince McMahon! I have the transcript here:

    ---

    Hernandez: Uh... hello?

    McMahon: Aaron! Hey there, good to talk to you!

    Hernandez: Uh... who is this?

    McMahon: It's Vince McMahon! Owner of WWE, and your old running buddy Gronk's future boss!

    Hernandez: Oh. Okay...

    McMahon: Hey, congratulations on the big win yesterday!

    Hernandez: Thanks?

    McMahon: I mean, it's terrific! You beat the rap! They can't keep good men like us down, Aaron. You and me, we're cut from the same cloth. Tough upbringings, people left us for dead. But WE'RE ALIIIIIVE! Now WE run the show! Am I right?

    Hernandez: Uh...

    McMahon: And I want to make you an offer! I want you to get right back on your feet, and we at WWE can help do that! Your buddy Gronk is coming on board. He's basically signed.

    Hernandez: Sure...

    McMahon: And he's teaming with his friend Momo Growley! I love that name! Growley! It's just like... GRRRRRRRROWL, you know?

    Hernandez: I don't thi-

    McMahon: And we've got this brown-skinned fellow from somewhere that isn't America, you know? Name escapes me, but he looks like a MILLION BUCKS! What biceps! What trrrrrrraps!

    Hernandez: I don't know where you're goi-

    McMahon: So the idea is, you know, you're kind of brown skinned right? And people, well, they misunderstand you. They cast you as a villain. So let's take advantage of that! Let's you team up with this other brown skinned fellow to take on Grrrrrrowley and Grrrrrronk!

    Hernandez: Well sir, that's-

    McMahon: It'll main event SummerSlam! You'll be huge! And at Wrestlemania you'll have the honor of fighting the greatest wrestler I've ever seen... Roman Reigns! You'll make a billion dollars! You'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams! What do you say?

    Hernandez: Well, sir, that sounds good... but you do know I'm serving a life sentence for a double murder.

    McMahon: Uh... wha?

    Hernandez: Yeah. I beat this rap, but I'm in here for good, man.

    McMahon: So... no brown skinned tag team? No fighting against Grrrrrrrrronk? No ringside appearance from Tom Brady and... mmmmmmmm... yummy Giselle?

    Hernandez: I'm afraid not.

    McMahon: You... YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE??? YOU'RE WORTHLESS!!! YOU'RE A TEASE!!! YOU LED ME ON, YOU LITTLE MINX!!! THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, YOU'LL BE KISSING MY ASS-

    <sounds of="" struggle="" on="" mcmahon's="" end="">

    McMahon: Hunter! Let me go! Stephanie, don't put me back in the box! Yeah, I called Hernandez, but he's locked up! I know you told me not to! AARON, DON'T LET THEM LOCK ME UP! AARON, THEY'RE DRUGGING ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAARON HERNANDEZ, SAVE MY LIFE!!!

    <click>

    Hernandez: Fuck it. This world is too fucked up. I'm done.

    <end scene="">

  3. #4203
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    Why did I read that.
    NPP Fantasy Football Legend

    Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry that what you just heard was "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?

    Quote Originally Posted by HeisenGuy View Post
    I hope Vince Mcmahon dies

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    I didnt. I just did a shitty c/p for the yuks.
    Douglas makes up different personalities, cuz he's ronery...

  6. #4205
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    jobber123
    a few seconds ago
    What am I supposed to tell my kids (if I had any) if they Google Jinder?

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    Quote Originally Posted by AKAASH View Post
    Doc Holliday • a minute ago
    If ever you needed a visual aid to held reinforce how out of touch Vince McMahon truly is, consider this: they had to have known for a few weeks now that Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns was going to be the plan for Payback, and that Braun would be doing all of these gimmicks to get him more over with the crowd. They obviously heard and saw the reactions he started getting, and thus planned out his push accordingly. Yet for all this build, and all of this buzz—Strowman may in fact be the hottest wrestler in the company right now—they have exactly zero items of merchandise for him.

    1997 Vince would've seen the reactions he was getting early on, and thought "If I can cultivate this, I may have some money here." He would've booked the beatdown with the ambulance spot and the ring crash spot. Then the second Braun stands up on the ring he just demolished and poses, WWE Shop would have immediately released ten different things for the guy. A couple of T-Shirts, a new action figure, a beer coozie, a poster, something.

    2017 Vince meanwhile is too busy asking "What the Hell is a burrito?" to prep the ground for this guy.


    Smarks get results.

  9. #4207
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    Exactly a year ago, AJ Styles gets the "Challenger of the month B PPV push" OMG HE'S BURIED WHY ARE THEY WASTING HIM FUCK WWE!!!!.

    This year, a semi jobber Jinder gets the "Challenger of the month B PPV push:" OMFG WHY NOT AJ STYLES FUCK THIS COMPANYYYYY!!
    The UNDISPUTED MAH-JONG SOLITAIRE CHAMP!!

  10. #4208
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    I can't even with that Hernandez/McMahon thing
    B L O G

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    Quote Originally Posted by robelgordo View Post
    I can't even with that Hernandez/McMahon thing
    Believe me. I am not 100% Anti Trump, but if he somehow provokes world war 3 and basically gets half the world's population slaughtered, the super smarks will somehow spin it into a "Vince McMahon sucks" fictional exchange before the World Wide Web gets wiped out. Bank on it.
    The UNDISPUTED MAH-JONG SOLITAIRE CHAMP!!

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    Where's Osiris? They're debating the friend zone over there.

  13. #4211
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    i have no idea what they're saying over there but I assume it's a bunch of resentful neckbeards complaining that they can't get laid.
    B L O G

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  15. #4212
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    Quote Originally Posted by robelgordo View Post
    i have no idea what they're saying over there but I assume it's a bunch of resentful neckbeards complaining that they can't get laid.
    You just described half the internet buddy
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Shawn Micskills What's in the box?! • 14 minutes ago
    Triple H's insecurity is really something else. It's pathetic and fascinating all at the same time. There is no one I think on his level in terms of pro wrestling. Even Hogan had more self-respect.

  17. #4214
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    They are very angry that Jinder Mahal pinned Orton clean and went on a 3 year long world title reign.
    The UNDISPUTED MAH-JONG SOLITAIRE CHAMP!!

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    HE'S GETTING THAT JBL PUSH TO SPITE THE JBL HATERS
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Hitchens View Post
    Opinion Polls are a device for influencing public opinion, not a device for measuring it. Crack that and it all makes sense.

  19. #4216
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    In the same page as "Orton is not over, he just does things that makes the crowd think he's over".

    Kevin Hall • 17 hours ago

    Vince loves watching oiled up muscular dudes posing. Period. Look at the post-match nonsense of every Hogan win in WWF. There's several minutes of incessant posing. The fans cheered because they loved Hogan, not the posing. Vince didn't get it.
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    zahidf • 11 hours ago

    Had a depressing end to the group drinks last night. Got talking to a really cute single girl(friend of a friend), we chatted for a whole hour, thought we connected.

    We moved pub as a group, completely blanked me for the rest of the night.

    Ah well. Back to the drawing board!
    Sounds like something I wouldn't go out of my way to share.
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  22. #4218
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    Im sure you've been in that situation many times, minus the hour of chatting of course.
    tootoot

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  24. #4219
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    If that were to happen, I wouldn't immediately think "Boy, I can't wait to tell this story on a forum!". That is kind of da point that you missed in incredible fasion.
    The UNDISPUTED MAH-JONG SOLITAIRE CHAMP!!

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    Nibbles is online now post may contain neo-socialist claptrap
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    Searches Melanie: 2 439 results
    In response to the new NPP guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention).
    For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

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