The cars have been pulled out of mothballs, the helmets have been polished and for the third time NPP’s finest will contest the Formula Pants World Championship. The 29 previous races have seen Daycru and Shaft crowned Driver’s Champions while Top-FINNISH Racing and RELENTLESS~!-Jordan have taken the Team titles.
This time round there are ten teams contesting the championship and with only one of those retaining all their drivers from last season, here are the runners and riders for Formula Pants Season 3.
The North American Penis Train undergoes a radical makeover to become Tha Real Dudleyz. World Champion Shaft and Boner form the ‘A’ team whilst Manbooba and Buckdiddy are the ‘B’ team.
Caffeine and Ox bile give way to tramp juice as Dirty Hun’s Jordan team get new sponsorship. Cheekbone has left and Dimmer has been drafted in against his will to partner HRH in the ‘B’ team.
Also known as Rape you violently in the arse, RYVITA are the old Top-FINNISH Racing team with brand new stickers.
Guapo joins Lucas in the brand new Pepsi Lucas Racing team. Only time will tell how the only Rookie in the field will get on.
Ormie and robelgordo ditch their team-mates and return to the season 1 line-up and livery.
This is Stixx’s team, featuring Stixx as number one driver and Stixx’s teammate as number two. Expect protests if race highlights fail to give a lap-by-lap update on his progress.
Nibbles reforms his old team and after failing to find anyone to partner him travels all the way to Switzerland to dig up Skooch’s rotting corpse. Their season could hinge on how well a dead guy can drive a race car.
Eager to strike a blow for gay rights, Slappy forms an openly homosexual race team with half naked grid boys and fabulous salmon pink livery. Surge is just happy he’ll automatically start every race.
Cheekbone takes his obsession with Nick Fry to another level by naming a race team after him. Cheekbone is joined by the two-time winner of “best looking driver on the grid.”
The re-branded Warren Fox team completes the line-up. With a colour scheme described by one team manager as “horrid” Tucho will be hoping that fast cars aren’t necessarily the best looking.
The Calendar
Round 1 – Monza, Italy
Round 2 – Road America, USA
Round 3 – Reims, France
Round 4 – The Moon
Round 5 – Mosport, Canada
The All-Star Race
Round 6 – Snetterton, Great Britain
Round 7 – Laguna Seca, USA
Round 8 – Oulton Park, Great Britain
Round 9 – Macau
Round 10 – Mount Panorama, Australia
The Rules
Each team will be given identical cars with 850bhp engines. Aside from the parade of garish paintjobs teams will only be able to alter them in the following ways:
- A performance upgrade that gives between 10-15bhp extra and improves reliability by 10%
- A special qualifying engine that is worth an extra 25bhp for one race only.
These upgrades will cost 500 and 400 pantaloonies respectively.
Teams can also give a driver test time. This can be worth up to 5 tenths of a second per lap and costs 300 per driver. Teams can only buy one of each upgrade per race.
Simply put (for the benefit of Nippleapplecrap) Money make car and driver good.
As before the 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 points system will be used as well as 2 points for pole position and a point for the fastest lap of the race. Qualifying will be restricted to one flying run and all 24 cars will start the race.
At the end of each race the top 3 will be paid prize money and at the end of the season the World Champion driver will receive 10,000 pantaloonies with the winning team receiving 20,000 to divide how they wish.
That pretty much covers everything. Good luck to everyone and may the best man (me) win.
I'm gonna make a splash this season.
Do the performance upgrades stack across races? Does it apply for both drivers?
Can we only get the quali engine 1 time per season? Does it apply for both drivers?
Moneybags Boner is prepared to make our team able to shit upon all others.
By team do you mean your twosome or the entire foursome, that could end up bveing expensive
We'll see what Hole's answers are.
Can we only get the quali engine 1 time per season? Does it apply for both drivers?
So yeah if you upgrade your car every race (expensive) it'll be a shit ton faster than it was at the start of the season.
Well at best if they are for "team" then he would mean just Team A or Team B drivers, otherwise hes an idiot and I'm going to recruit two more team members.
Team 'A' and Team 'B' are completely separate for the purposes of upgrades and scoring points. They just share a livery.
So will need 1500 per race interesting, would we get told when we'd need the money by?
Can we pay upfront, can we pay on credit?
yeah, first race everyone will start equal. Then we'll do quali and the race and as soon as the race report goes up the window is open. It'll close a few days before I do the next race.
Everyone will get fair warning and it'll be at least 4 days. Anything after that deadline would be applied before the next race.
So I could by 6 upgrades at once and bump up our shit by 60-90 bph and 60%?
1 of each per race
Oh.
WELL YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT.
Jesus Boner that was in the 1st post
If you have a moment here is Season 1
All the cars will start with the same reliability rating they did then.
I thought Hole was banned from the front page?
Nope, I got ACTUAL banned.
Great stuff. Like the graphics.
I'm not happy with my write up, to put it mildly.
Posted via Mobile Device
You did pick your team colours.
Had you gone with black and gold I'd have written something completely different.
I'm no Sam Sparrow.
Posted via Mobile Device
Stick yer mobile device up yer arse.
Posted via ninternet on standard puter
Who described Toonchos car as horrid?
You did
:GLINT:
tooncho haha I don't make fun of your alcoholism
That shut him up, well done.:smallglint:
Thanks mate.
Don't fuck with Tucho lads, he'll set Bugs Bunny and Bart Simpson on you.
I've had a bit too much to drink again and now my homo tendencies are being let loose for the world to see via the music of Mr Elton John.
Sir Elton John.
Boy better know.